Issue #56 Bacon Evacuation

Apr 29, 2024

Yep.

This happened.

When my kids were young money was tight.

(Who am I kidding, money is always tight.)

We had to be creative when it came to family travel and, of the three biggest expenses on the road, (gas, food, lodging) food was usually the thing over which we had the most control.

Gas prices are what they are and hotel rooms cost what they cost but you can do a lot when it comes to feeding everyone.

I had good training in this – my parents were big believers in endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a giant Coleman jug full of water. (By day three, the water tasted like whatever Coleman jugs taste like and peanut butter and jelly had rather lost its luster. But I digress.)

Following in my parents’ footsteps, meals on our road trips were generally served room temperature and came from a big Rubbermaid tote full of the kinds of food that you can eat at room temperature and store in a big Rubbermaid tote.

Fast food was an occasional treat but only from McDonalds because the golden arches were cheap. (Wendy’s was more expensive and Culver’s was not only much more expensive but available almost exclusively in Wisconsin.)

So when I was looking for a hotel near an upcoming family reunion, and came across an Embassy Suites that had rooms with a “kitchen”, I jumped on the chance to pack food that we could cook and serve hot.

I should mention here that, at the time of this story, the internet did not yet exist in any of the meaningful ways we now know it. Most assuredly the part of the internet that allows you to not only book hotel rooms online, but see actual pictures of those rooms, did not exist.

So I took the optimistically described “kitchen” at face value.

I now know that, even if the hotel says there is a kitchen, it is most likely to consist of an eating area and a microwave.

And they are not anticipating that you will bring an electric skillet.

Or that you will use said electric skillet to fry a pound of bacon.

With rather disastrous results.

To be fair, we have never known for sure why an eardrum piercing alarm (accompanied by a bunch of weird flashing lights in the rooms and hallways) sent us all out into the hotel parking lot in the dead of night.

Maybe there was something more sinister than my stupid bacon happening in another part of the establishment.

Or maybe it was a routine drill.

Regardless, we found ourselves shivering in the company of at least 200 angry tired people for about 25 minutes.

If you think I gave any indication to those folks that I might be the source of their misery, you don’t know me very well.

Music

Thank you for all the kind words about the clip of my harp music in the last newsletter. Many of you got in touch to say “more music please!” so I will be adding some from time to time.

Next Book - Sneak Peek And Pre-orders

The pre-orders for my next book are rolling in - thank you so much!

Just to be clear - this is just an opportunity for you to get on the list and help me figure out how many books to order from the printer.

I don’t need any money from you - just an indication that you are going to want a copy (or a few copies).

To get on the list, either drop a comment below or message me at anne@anneandgod.com

Blooming!

There are about three wonderful weeks each spring when our front yard looks amazing. The creeping phlox is not only creeping but blooming and the bluebells seem to take up more real estate every year.

The redbud is doing that beautiful thing it does and the cherry tree is covered with blossoms.

In what seems like no time at all, the blooms will be gone leaving me to wait patiently for the remaining foliage to yellow and die off.

But I’ll take this while I have it :-)

Borrowed Glory

Magnolia trees take FOREVER to get this big - they can languish at the 5 foot tall stage for over a decade - so I have never had the patience to plant my own.

I feel very lucky to be able to enjoy our neighbor’s glorious blossoms vicariously.

Keep The Messages Coming!

A big “thank you” to all of you who have messaged me commented or hit “like” after reading my poems and commentary!

I appreciate the feedback and knowing how often I have struck a chord with your lives.

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Anne The Passive Aggressive Poet

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