Issue #50 Jello Brain
It has been a day.
I woke up with a brain trapped in jello.
It refused to emerge and contribute in any meaningful way to my attempts at pithy observational humor.
So I stalled.
I footled around with this and that - organizing files, answering overdue emails, poking around my social media.
I ran through all my tried and true “get out of this funk” tricks.
Nothing.
Then I walked by a mirror.
Bingo.
Yes.
I was wearing two pairs of glasses.
I was aware of the first set because they are the prescription that keep me from falling down the stairs through nearsightedness, but the second pair, lurking up on top of my head were a complete surprise. Those are the computer-screen-reading ones that I clearly push up and down with abandon and forgetfulness.
I’m sure some of you have done this.
Please tell me you’ve done this.
Anyway, that gave me a theme – jello brain – which also put me in mind of this story from a bygone trip to the bank.
Unlike many people, I still get paid for much of my work via paper checks. And, as convenient as it can be to deposit them using online banking apps, sometimes I just want to get out of the house and interact with living breathing people.
Which brings us to the drive-up window with those whooshing plastic tubes.
With my checks all ready, I pulled the canister out, opened the end, dropped my pen, set down the canister, fished up my pen, opened the end of the canister and put the deposit slip in. (The deposit slip is fatter than the checks - this will be important later)
I inserted checks.
They fell on the floor.
Another attempt.
Again, straight to the floor.
The deposit slip stayed in there, but the checks wouldn't.
What the...??
Can you see my mistake?
I'll run it down for you again:
Get canister out of tube, open the end, drop the pen, set down the canister, fish up the pen, open the end of the canister and put the deposit slip in.
You see the jello-brain moment, right?
Ok, again but with cheaty bold type:
Get the canister out of the tube, open the end, drop the pen, set the canister down, fish up the pen, open the end of the canister and put the deposit slip in.
This canister opens at both ends.
Yup, I first opened one end, got distracted, set the thing down, picked it back up again, completely failed to see one end was already ajar (because I was now holding it upside down) opened up the other end, inserted the deposit slip (which stuck to the sides of the canister because it is really too fat for it) and proceeded to feed the checks into the top only to have them promptly fell out the bottom.
The truly galling bit is that it took me 4 tries before I even got a clue.
I just kept sticking 'em in there like a toddler dropping spaghetti on the floor.
What's worse - during this little slice of idiocy, one of the checks disappeared entirely.
Just vanished into thin air.
Like a conjuring trick.
And I still can't find it.
I went through my van and my purse from top to bottom.
Leaving me with a lovely clean vehicle and an organized handbag.
But I'm out 45 bucks.
Jello Brain.
Copyright© 2024 Anne Morse Hambrock All rights reserved.
Bleh..
From Zero To Sixty
The daffodils that were just beginning to be interesting last week put everything into overdrive this week. Most of them are at least a foot high and some are even starting to bloom.
Despite the feeble attempt at snow that descended this morning.
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