Issue # 33 Doing Stupid Things And Channeling Erma

Apr 11, 2024

Body Image

Let’s talk about body image as a source for humor.

This can be a tricky zone.

So tricky that, when my first book was under review by a major publisher, the editorial panel was concerned about the poems that concerned body image. Or as they called it “body shaming”.

And right there we get to the heart of the matter.

Is it possible to make a joke that centers around body image without crossing into body shaming?

I say yes.

For me, the difference is firmly rooted in the vantage point.

I think should be allowed to make fun of my own body and my relationship with my body image but should not deride the bodies of others.

In support of that first bit, we have Phyllis Diller and Erma Bombeck.

Erma and Phyllis practically invented the confessional self-deprecating humor that is central to legions of modern day writers and comedians. Their jokes about their own bodies were a staple of their comedic identities and audiences ate it up.

Phyllis Diller was never really my cup of tea. Her act was loud and brash and over the top and I didn’t relate to her much.

But Erma seemed to have a lighter touch. I found her writing to be more relatable and more accessible.

Interestingly, I went back after those meetings with the publisher and reread Erma’s books and discovered that her stuff was actually almost just as over the top as Phyllis’s. I think I remember Erma as being more subtle than she actually was.

Perhaps because she dressed like a regular person and her method of delivery was prose rather than stand-up.

I suspect that if I put two samples from each woman in front of you as exclusively written content – no crazy clothes or fright wigs – you would not be able to tell whose joke was whose.

The second kind of humor – the kind where you deride someone else – is usually labelled “insult humor” and there are comedians whose entire career has been built around that approach. Don Rickles was legendary for his take-downs of everyone under the sun. I personally never enjoyed his humor but I understand that lots of folks thought he was hilarious.

But the tides are changing and I don’t see as much of an audience for insult humor these days. And it’s not a voice I would ever want to use for my own comedic projects.

I am very careful when using any reference to body image to speak almost exclusively about my own experiences.

And none of my humor comes from actually being ashamed of my body.

It comes from being annoyed by my body.

There are just some things I wish were different about it. For instance, I wish I didn’t have weird poochy circles under my eyes that cannot be concealed by any make-up devised by science.

I don’t feel the need to resort to plastic surgery because there’s nothing really wrong with my eyes. I just personally don’t like the way they look. No one else seems to care and my dislike for my eyes has never come from a fear that other people are judging me. It’s simply that I would be delighted if suddenly they didn’t look the way they do.

I am currently working on more books of my poems and making decisions about what to include and what to leave out. I thought now would be a good time to share a story from the first book to illustrate how much humor is subjective and show the kind of thought that I put into editing.

The very first version of my first book included this:

After my feedback from the “big publisher”, I was seriously considering dropping that one for my second print run. Less than a week after the publisher’s note, I got a FB message from a fan who, out of the blue, mentioned that exact poem as her favorite thing in the book. It made her laugh out loud.

I kept it.

I also feel I should be allowed to reference the fact that our society has certain almost universal hang-ups that are fair game. No matter how much or how little we weigh, we never seem to like the number we see on the scale. A number which invariably rises after a heavy meal but generally goes right back down a day or two later. I figured we should all give ourselves a break from that annoying period of negativity and wrote this:

I’d like to add, I don’t only make jokes that revolve around my physical hang-ups. I’ve got lots of other hang-ups.

Disorganization, housekeeping mishaps, dumb moments (like being so much in the habit of reading things on a screen, and “capturing” them for later reference, that I truly did use the camera on my phone to shoot a photo of a passage in a print book last week) and general foibles.

That big publisher ultimately took a pass on my first book, by the way.

I imagine nowadays they would have passed on Erma too.

After that experience, I realized that I like being my own editor and speaking my mind in my writing.

At the end of the day, it’s called Anne The Passive Aggressive Poet for a reason. The work comes from my own questions for the universe and my own real life, warts and all.

I leave you with this:

Stuff From The Dirt

I went to pull the dead geranium bits and sweet potato vine foliage out of a planter and out came the thing at the bottom of the photo. Despite it’s resemblance to a human kidney, it is a sweet potato vine tuber. I’m going to try to winter it over for next year.

There were a couple more tubers and a gift of an apple probably stashed by one of our many squirrels.

I guess he’s going to be pretty ticked when he goes back for it this winter….

Keep The Messages Coming!

A big “thank you” to all of you who have messaged me commented or hit “like” after reading my poems and commentary!

I appreciate the feedback and knowing how often I have struck a chord with your lives.

Anne The Passive Aggressive Poet

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