#83 Struggles And Support
I hope that made you laugh.
Things are about to get real.
My Struggles And Why I Write
I have been pouring my heart and soul into this work since 2015.
My top priority has always been to throw a little irreverent humor at people in hopes of helping them cope with difficult times.
But, in order to do that, I have to try to shut out all the negative things happening in my own life so that I can send positivity to others.
This is something all comedy writers struggle with.
And, frankly, it can be exhausting.
I’ve been part of the creative team on my husband’s syndicated newspaper comic since 2006 and, during that time, I’ve seen him have to deliver daily (yes DAILY – 365 days a year) doses of silliness to millions of readers while coping with his own personal hardships. Hardships that have included the deaths of several immediate family members.
He could have quit.
But he didn’t.
He dug down into some deep and crazy part of himself and kept turning in those comics. I’m sure his readers had no idea. (Oddly, I personally think he produced some his funniest and best work during those times.)
One thing that helps is that a comic strip can exist in a separate universe. When your work is not autobiographical, you can generate it from a place outside yourself.
But my work is largely from my own real life.
That bit up there about the foam rubber?
Yes, that is my actual had-three-kids stomach.
Because my work is so personal, it can be a lot harder for me to tap into lemonade when life is throwing lemons at me.
And last week was the one of the giantest lemons of my life.
If you don’t want to hear about it, stop reading now and go on about your day.
What I Went Through From 2016-2020
When I published this, it was a lie.
I did that thing comedy writers do where you take a real thing and then tweak it to make it funny.
The truth was that, when I wrote this, it was NOT my bladder that was waking me up every morning.
It was panic.
I spent four years being a nervous wreck.
Afraid that at any minute his explosiveness and impulsivity would catapult us into war. Afraid that he had no regard for the rule of law or respect for our constitution and the duties of the office of the presidency. Afraid that he was actually crazy and incompetent.
This fear did not come from any portrayal of him by the media.
It came from his own daily tweets and from the constant stream of defectors from his inner circle.
These people were hand-picked by him. They initially seemed to believe they were going to be part of something great and important only to become horrified by the reality of the man and the way he did the job. Most of them resigned so that they could tell us what was going on behind the scenes.
Anxiety was also generated by him deliberately. He wanted me to live in a constant state of fear because that gave him a powerful tool of control and manipulation.
And now it’s starting again.
Things are going to get even more real .
Real enough that you may want to stop reading permanently.
You And Me
Some of you are my actual family.
Many of you are dear friends.
Others are strangers who just happened to find me.
Today I’m revealing a lot of who I am
And you are probably about to reveal part of who you are.
If you just voted to reelect him, somehow he got you to think the past four years were actually worse than the four years when he was in charge. Maybe he played on your economic struggles (mostly driven by the wrack and ruin of a global pandemic that started on his watch.) Or maybe he counted on your lifelong devotion to a party that you still think exists but that he has hollowed out at its core.
(If you believe this election was really as simple as the economy or “politics as usual” I fear you are probably going to be in for a bit of a shock as things move forward for the next four years.)
To my friends and family, because I know and love you, I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt that one of these things drove your vote for him rather than the alternative.
I don't want to believe it's because you hate my friends and family who are gay or because you are a flat out racist.
Maybe you think I'm overreacting.
You might be rolling your eyes right now at my “hysteria”.
If those are the terms of our relationship, you need to know I am saddened by that.
Any eye rolling on your part is already a pretty damning revelation of who you are and what you think of me and how little you care for me. My feelings are real and I am not alone.
Also, you should know that my neighbors who had Harris signs on their lawn got actual snail mail letters the Friday before the election telling them they were going to HELL (yes, it was in all caps as was most of the letter) if they voted for anyone but Trump.
Hysteria indeed.
Whether I’m delusional or not, you need to know that I am going to do some things differently this time around.
From 2016-2020 I did my best to lay politics aside, tamp down most of my personal feelings, and hit that groove of silliness and haplessness to which we can all relate.
I worked hard to not only rise above the chaos but not let my readers know any of my struggles.
I still believe in my core mission to brighten whatever day you are having with whatever humor I can find.
I am going to do my very best to make this a judgement free zone and as peaceful and uplifting a place as possible.
But I can’t promise things won’t sometimes get serious. There are going to be days where I just can’t bring the silly and I might need to talk about what I’m feeling.
And I’m going to be more open about my need for support.
And my politics are sometimes going to be right out there.
You may decide our lives are too far apart. You may think I’m fanciful in my fears of where we are about to go as a nation.
You may simply have had enough of me period.
If so, it’s easy to unsubscribe.
The choice is yours.
The Support Part
Still reading?
More honesty.
Like most people, I’m pretty insecure.
Which means that, while I might not remember all the times I’ve touched people in a positive way, I surely feel the sting of every negative interaction.
And, even though I said up there that you can feel free to unsubscribe, you need to know that:
A) I WILL know who you are because, even though Substack gives me no meaningful feedback at all when it comes to who’s reading my posts, the one thing they do tell me is whose email has just been “disabled”.
B) I will be hurt. Every disabled email feels like a gut punch whether I know you personally or not.
But I will get over it.
If you have decided to stay, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This newsletter is very personal for me – largely because the stories really do come from my own experiences and also because it is a space I try to use to help others without thought to financial gain.
Having said that, I have recently made a change that I need to address.
I’ve added a tip jar to the menu of the website and to the body of my newsletters.
Substack really really really tries to get creators to charge for their content. They encourage us to put things like the ability to share posts, or to comment on posts, behind a paywall.
I understand why they want us to do that.
I’m just not comfortable with it.
But I’m not averse to accepting a tip from anyone who feels they have gotten something out of my work.
And part of today’s festival of honesty is that I’m going to admit how hard it is to keep doing this week after week with the current level of engagement from my readers.
Seeing more engagement from your end would really help boost my spirits and make that cheering-up-zone easier to access.
This support does NOT need to be a tip.
It can be as simple as opening the emails more often or taking the time to hit “like” or leaving a comment or sharing the newsletter with your friends or adding me as a recommendation to your own Substack if you have one.
It all helps me feel I’m not just shouting into the void.
Copyright© 2024 Anne Morse Hambrock All rights reserved.
Tomato Sucess!
We have had a gorgeous Autumn and that means that I was able to leave this giant tomato on the vine to ripen naturally instead of doing that trick with a paper bag.
You can’t really tell the scale here, but that puppy is five inches in diameter and last night it made a heck of a BLT!
Tip Jar
This button will take you to my PayPal tip jar. It is tied to my old Typepad “Anne And God” page (look for the button in the left hand sidebar) because I cannot use the Substack tip jar.
Substack only has a relationship with Stripe as a payment gateway and I recently had to close my Stripe account after they failed to adequately protect me from credit card fraud generated by identity thieves in Australia (a whole long story) so I have to do things in this roundabout way.
Thank you for reading and for your support.
Never Too Early For Holiday Gift Shopping!
Gift giving season is right around the corner!
These books make great holiday gifts and are listed in my online store .
Keep The Messages Coming!
A big “thank you” to all of you who have messaged me commented or hit “like” after reading my poems and commentary!
I appreciate the feedback and knowing how often I have struck a chord with your lives.
Archives
You can click this “Archives” button to see more or catch up on posts you may have missed.
Thank You
For subscribing and/or following! Your support gives me something to live up to!
You've written my favorite piece. Perfect. Your experience mirrors my own so closely that it weirdly makes me feel better. I've mostly stayed away from reading the news or talking about it for the last week, and this is my toes in the water. Yes, I have family and friends who have good reasons to be afraid of what's to come. I also have family and friends that I no longer talk to because this is what they wanted. It's scary and maddening. This is my tenth year making a daily comic, but last week was the first time I didn't want to do it. My fellow cartoonists have been a source of strength. You are a source of strength. Thank you. I will continue to stumble forward. (And I don't like asking for money directly from readers either, but this is where the industry is at right now and you are worth it.)
Anne, I'm totally with you. Ever since the election, I have been living with anxiety, sometimes low, but mostly fairly high. Today I've been trying everything that used to work: meditation -- I cannot quiet my mind, just cannot; listening to music - yours, my grandkids' performances, old favorites; breathing - only short breaths will come, no long sighs. Nothing is working. My muscles are tight and tired.
I, also, have those friends and family who voted differently. They have been silent around me, but I can tell they are curious about me since the election. I have not shown any hint of what I'm feeling. You are very brave to do so. (And thank you for this chance to speak my mind!)
No, you're not fanciful at all. The whole world will change in the next few years. The only question is how fast will it change? How many countries will no longer exist? How much of our lives will change? Will anyone who voted for this ever realize they caused it, or will the bad guys convince them to blame someone else? Is there any hope that we will be pleasantly surprised?
Say what you are feeling when you post. It's probably what I'm feeling, too.