#80 Little White Lies And Lasagna

Oct 21, 2024

It just slipped out.

I was in the pre-op area and the nurse was filling in all those little forms you have to fill in before they fix your wonky cataract infested eye.

Things were going swimmingly.

Then, she asked my weight.

Without thinking I chirped out the number that was on my driver’s license.

A number indisputably from a bygone era.

How bygone?

Well, whenever the last time someone at the DMV asked me.

Which, admittedly, has been a while now.

Immediately I felt remorse.

And concern.

I mean, the anesthesiologist uses this information to calculate important dosage type stuff, right?

I almost stopped everything to correct her.

But I didn’t.

I told myself that a few pounds either way probably would not make any difference. After all, the number I gave her might have been old and inaccurate but it wasn’t THAT inaccurate. It was within ten pounds.

Which probably makes the lie even sillier. Because how vain am I that a number that small is worth lying about?

I also told myself that, if my life really depended on the anesthesiologist having my absolute absolute correct weight he wouldn’t have left things up to whatever lies his vainer patients might tell him.

He would have had the nurse march me to a scale.

Suffice it to say, I did not die on the operating table.

I am fine.

But I’m going to give some serious thought to why I fibbed in the first place and why I seem to have such a complicated relationship with a stupid number.

Positve Thinking

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                                                         I need to remember this.

Don’t Fear The Lasagna!

Are you afraid of lasagna?

I used to be.

Mostly because those noodles you have to boil are such a pain to deal with.

Then I discovered these “no boil” noodles and they changed everything.

Here is a recipe for the easiest lasagna you will ever make in your life. It takes about 15 minutes of prep time and bakes for 40-50 minutes depending on the size of your baking dish and the quirks of your individual oven. This recipe is for a 9 x 13 pan - if you make a smaller batch you can just reduce everything accordingly.

Indredients:

Filling:

1 container (15 oz) ricotta. (It doesn’t matter if it is whole milk or lowfat)
1 container (16 oz) cottage cheese (Again, it doesn’t matter if it is whole milk or lowfat)
1/4 cup Kraft grated parmesan cheese
2 whole eggs beaten
a little salt and pepper

Sauce:

2 jars (24 oz) prepared tomato sauce. It can be any kind of sauce you like. My family prefers spicy Arribatta. (You might not use this much sauce. But, then again, you might. I do.)

Pasta:

Barilla “no bake” lagagna - as many sheets as you need for the size you are making. I use a little less than one box worth.

Cheese:

Approximately 24-32 oz shredded mozzarella depending on how cheesey you want it to be.

Preheat the oven to 375° F

Mix all the filling ingredents together using a spatula or wooden spoon and set aside.

Pour a thin layer of sauce in the bottom of a 9 x 13 pan and spread it out evenly to cover the bottom. Then lay down some dry noodles in the bottom of the pan. No need to get all the way to the edge of the pan - the noodles will expand in both directions.

Cover the noodles with a layer of sauce. Spoon half the filling over the sauce and spread out as evenly as you can. Cover with a layer of shredded mozzarella.

Add another layer of noodles, sauce, cheese and mozzarella.

Add a final layer of noodles and sauce and top with the remaining mozzarella and, if you like, some extra parmesan for bubbliness.

If you wish to include vegetables or meat or both, put them on top of cheese filling layers.

Cover with foil and bake 15-20 minutes.

Remove the foil and cook until the top cheese is nice and browned and bubbly. The first time you make it you will want to watch it and then notice how much longer it needs to bake uncovered to get bubbly. Mine usually takes about 30 more minutes but ovens vary quite a bit.

The truly amazing bit about this recipe is that the noodles really do get cooked all the way through and are nice and tender. No crunchy surprises. It might be all that sauce.

Bon Appetit!

My Tomatoes Are Confused

My tomatoes seem to think it is early August. They have put out tons of new lush greenery and several fruits. I don’t really care about the cherry tomatoes or the disappointing (and erroneously named) “early girl”. But there are two nice big brandywine sandwich tomatoes that I’m praying evade frost. I’ve learned that they will ripen if they even blush a little bit but the longer they stay on the vine the better they will taste.

Fingers crossed.

Never Too Early For Holiday Gift Shopping!

These books make great holiday gifts and are listed in my online store .

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I appreciate the feedback and knowing how often I have struck a chord with your lives.

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Anne The Passive Aggressive Poet

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